Most Hilarious Jokes.

1.

Kid: May I buy some grapes?
Baker: we don't have that
The nxt day:
Kid: May I buy some grapes?
......Baker: I said we don't have that! if you ask that one more time, i'm gonna staple your mouth!
D nxt day:
Kid: Do you have a stapler?
Baker: No, why?
Kid: May I buy some grapes? :D

2.Facebook is like jail you sit around and waste time, write on walls, and get poked by people you don't know.

3.Boy's dad joined facebook. Boy's status, 'WTF'. Boy's dad asks, what iS WTF?' Kid replies, 'Welcome To Facebook'

4.As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make... me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!"

5. I went for a drive with my girlfriend the other day & got pulled over, the officer asked "have you been drinking" I replied "come on mate, she isn't that fat"

6.Dear Maths,All my life you made me find your X !!!Listen buddy...She's not coming back....So please move on!!!Regards,Frustrated Student.

7.Dad brings a robot which slaps people who lie. Dad: 'son where were you?'
Son: 'school' robot slaps son, Son: 'film!' Dad: 'which one?' Son:
'cartoon film' robot slaps again. Son: 'blue film' Dad: 'whats that??'
robot slaps dad.

8.A boy was driving a car.. A girl overtakes his car.. The boy shouted "hey donkey".. The girl replied to him "pig, buffalo, stupid"..Suddenly she had an accident, because in front of her, a donkey was crossing. Moral -> Girls never understand guys



9.After drinking: Men talk unnecessarily, Become emotional, Drive badly, Stop thinking, Fight for nothing! WOMEN can do all these things WITHOUT drinking.


10.The priest asks Johnny if he's not scared of meeting Satan. Little Johnny
says "You are the one that must be scared; you talk shit about him every
Sunday."

Robert Frost Quotes

Robert Frost (March 26, 1874 – January 29, 1963)



"Poetry is what gets lost in translation."

"Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length."

"The best way out is always through."

"Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay."

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."

"There are two kinds of teachers: the kind that fill you with so much quail shot that you can't move, and the kind that just gives you a little prod behind and you jump to the skies."

"Freedom lies in being bold."

"There is one thing more exasperating than a wife who can cook and won't, and that's a wife who can't cook and will."


"A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age."


"A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes."


"Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up."


"The world is full of willing people, some willing to work, the rest willing to let them."


"The afternoon knows what the morning never suspected."


"Thinking is not to agree or disagree. That's voting."


"Good fences make good neighbors.


"The best things and best people rise out of their separateness; I'm against a homogenized society because I want the cream to rise." 


"Fire and Ice
Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice. " 

"A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain."


Some people sit 'round a ring and suppose,
but the secret sits in the middle and knows." 


"The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep" 

Funniest Jokes

1.Santa was feeling happy!
After five minutes,happy slapped him;D




2.To Reduce Depression of Students,Sir Showed them "3 IDIOTS".Sir=What did u Learn 4m the Movie?Students=KISS Karte WaQt NAAK Bich me Nahi Aati ;)




3.Men want 3 qualities in wives: Economist in kitchen, artist in home & devil in bed. But wives r smarter so men get artist in kitchen, devil in home & economist in Bed;D




4.

Shayari dat wud blow ur senses :-


Roses are red,
Facebook is blue.
..Roses are red,
Facebook is blue.
44 mutual friends
Fir bhi kaun hai bey tu.. :D lol

5.Just thinking if every couple... Husband & Wife, BF & GF exchanged their Facebook a/c & cell phone for 24 hours . Will they b still together after that ?! lol

6.

sardar meets an English man...
Angrez: hi
Sardar: hellow!!
Ang: How do you do?????
Sardar: That's a secret!!!!!!!!!: P

7.Last Night,I broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was "You'll never find anyone like me again!"

.
.
I wz thinking, "I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you."”


 

8.

Interviewer :Let me check your word Power...
Sardaar :Ok Sir ....
Interviewer : Tell me the opposite of ......good.
Sardar :hmmmm..... Bad
Interviewer : Come
Sardar : Go.
Interviewer : Ugly.
Sardar : Pichlli.
Interviewer : PICHLLIIIII?
Sardar : UGLYYYYYYYYY..
Interviewer : Shut Up.
Sardar : Keep Talking.
Interviewer :ok now stop these all..
Sardar:ok now carry on this all
Interviewer :abe...chup ho ja..chup ho ja..chup ho jaaaa
Sardar: abe bolta rah..bolta rah..bolta rahhh
Interviewer :Areeee yaaar
Sardar: areeee dushmannnnnn
Interviewer : Get Out.
Sardar : Come In.
Interviewer : Oh my God.
Sardar : Oh my Devil.
Interviewer : U r Rejected.
Sardar: I m selected...
I M SELECTED??? REALLY?? BALLE BALLE :))))

9.you know if you're getting older and one day your sweetie says to you, "darling Let's go upstairs and make love." whats your answer???????, i think the answer will be "Honey, I can't do both in one time!"

10. 

A guy went to his gf's house... But at dat tym, only her sis was thr.. She dressed sexy and told her sis' bf dat his gf gone outside and wont come back for 2 hrs and they can have some intimate moments by dat tym... The guy immediately went out.. Suddenly, his gf came and hugged him happily and said "I luv u too much " ... She said she was testing him an...d he passed it...

Moral : Always keep condoms at the bike .. :D