Unforgettable Quotes

1.WATS THE SECRET OF SUCCESS?


"Be open," said the window.
"Keep cool," said the ice.
"Drive hard," said the hammer.
"Be up to date," said the calender.
"Never be led," said the pencil.
"Be sharp," said the knife.
"Burn with passion," said the fire.
"Stick to it," said the glue.
"Be bright," said the lamp

2.Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you're in it, but the longer you stay, the more wrinkled you get.:-(

3."Yaa Devii Sarvabhuuteshhu Maatrirupena Sansthitah
Yaa Devii Sarvabhuuteshhu Shaktirupena Sansthitah
Yaa Devii Sarvabhuuteshhu Shaantirupena Sansthitah
Namastasyaih Namastasyaih Namastasyaih Namo Namah"

4.Men are like...Placemats.They only show up when there's food on the table.

5.HUSBAND and WIFE are like 2 tyres of a vehicle. If 1 punctures, the vehicle can’t move further.:(
M0ral:always Keep a SPARE TYRE;

6.GOD IS NOWHERE.
GOD IS NOW HERE.
All that matters is how we wanna see things!

7.Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it’s our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you’d like to have dinner with;D

8. MEN R HAPPIER BCOZ:
Chocolate 4U is just another snack!
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds
A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades
...One wallet and one pair of shoes-one colour for all seasons!
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look;D
Wrinkles only add character;)
n The world is your urinal!

9. You love someone,
You marry someone else !
The one you marry becomes your spouse !And the one you loved becomes …………..
the password of your email id !!;)

10.SUCCESS

"At age 4 success is . . . Not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . Having friends.
At age 17 success is . . Having a driver's license.
At age 35 success is . . Having money.
At age 50 success is .. . . Having money.
At age 70 success is . .. Having a driver license.
At age 75 success is . . Having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . Not peeing in your pants."

Funny Status Updates

1.Romance simply doesnt work with some husbands!Dump the kids early to bed n they get scared "Itna Sannata kyun hai Bhai?":( Arrange a cosy candlelite dinner n they wud switch on the lights to b assured if u serve them in rite proportion!!!:(wish to go for a long drive...they wud suggest why not shop some grocery on the way home:(Ask them for a stroll in rain..n they wud come out with two umbrellas:(


2.After an emotional hug, Girl to Boy:-----
"Oh! If youwould hug me once more like that ,I will be yours forever."...............
Boy:-- "THANKS FOR THE WARNING.";-D


3.Coffee, Chocolate, Men ... some things are just better rich.'


4.Question: What's a man's idea of helping with the housework?
Answer: Lifting his leg so you can vacuum;D


5.A single spelling mistake that caused divorce!!!!!!!
A man went 2 GOA & sent msg 2 his wife- "Having the most amazing & wonderful time, i wish u were HER".


6.yun khamosh rehkar tadpogi kabtak....
yun khamosh rehkar tadpogi kabtak....

......Cameraman prafful ke saath deepak chaurasia AAJ TAK:D


7.Best traffic advertisment of the year: Picture of Lord Ganesha with saying:"Take care of your head,not everyone gets a replacement like me".


8. Little Red Rididng Hood dint listen to her mother.....Snow White lived with seven men.....Pinnochio was a liar......Robin Hood was a thief....Tarzan walked without clothes on....Sleeping Beauty slept the whole day until a guy kissed her.....Cindrella was dancing with a guy till twelve at nite!!!!!
These are the stories our parents rais...ed us with, n now they complain our our generation's messed up!!!!;D


9. Dear Lord, it's such a hectic day
With little time to stop n pray
For life's been anything but calmSince u called on me to b a mom
Running errands,matching socks
Building dreams with building blocks!
Cooking,cleaning n finding shoes
n other stuff dat children lose!

10.We have women in the military, but they don't put us in the front lines. They don't know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, "You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms.";D