More Quotes

1.Exams are like girl friends. 1. Too Many Questions.2. Difficult to Understand.3. More Explanation is Needed.4. Result is always FAIL.:(


2.BIZZARE: "In Hong Kong the wife of a husband who commits adultery is legally entitled to kill the mistress in any manner desired, and the husband with just her bare hands"


3.A long marriage is like two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time!!!!cheers to all my 'skilled' friends who hv survived their marriage for a decade or more:) and all my best wishes to the brave hearts who'll soon reach the mark.Keep dancing to the life's tune!!!!


4.A 10-year study in Scotland found that 20% of people die of a heart attack on Monday’s compare to any other day of the week! The study suggests that the ‘Monday peak’ could be a result of massive drinking during the weekend and work related stress:(....so guys remember-no stress n moderate drinking;) njoy ur weekend:)


5.Honey is the only food tht doesnt spoil with time! now i know y sweet hearts r called so;)


6.Desire breeds more desires !


7.A girl applied to a computer dating service and reported that she liked water sports n formal wear, and the computer matched her with a PENGUIN !!!!!LOL


8.Dare to make a promise...promise brings hope n hope brings smile..and do u know anythng more precious than ur loved one's smile:)


9.Nothing is so good as it seems before hand.


10.I m not denying the women r foolish. God Almighty made them to match the men!!!!!!! George Eliot

Popular facebook status updates

1. Jhilmilate dipon ki aabha se prakashit
Ye diwali aapke ghar aangan mein
Dhan dhanya sukh samridhi aur IshwarKe anant aashirwad le kar aaye.
Happy Diwali


2.How nice it feels wen ur long lost school n college pals see ur recent pics n exclaim aloud "oh dear,u still look the SAME!!!!They dont care if ur hair has thinned,some wrinkles b added or the weight b doubled!!!!True then,love is blind:)


3.If u love me, raise ur hand,
If u dont, raise ur standard;D


4. Sri Sri Ravishankar on the four aspects of Diwali:
Lights:symbolizing the spreading of Knowledge.
Firecrackers:Watching the firecrackers gives a relief to d explosive tendencies inside. When d explosion happens outside,d explosion inside is diffused.
Gifts n sweets: Sweets dispel d bitterness and renew friendship.
Feeling abundance:Feeling a sense of abundance brings awareness n gratefulness for what one has.


5.Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson: you find the present TENSE, but the past PERFECT! ~Owens Lee Pomeroy


6.The strength of a man isn't in d deep tone of his voice.
It's in d gentle words he whispers!(talks nonsense to please u)The strength of a man isn't how many buddies he has.
It's how good of buddies he is with his children!(plays with kids wen u snore)
The strength of a man isn't in how respected he is at work.
It's in how respected he is at home!(brings expensive gifts)
The strength of a man isn't in how hard he hits.
It's in how tender he touches!(handles crockery with care)
The strength of a man isn't in d weight he can lift.
It's in d burdens he can carry!(calls ur mom to stay;)


7.The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books—how not to eat what you've just learned how to cook.!!!!!:D


8.Deewaron ke bhi kaan hote hain!.....if u r nt convinced, just share a secret on ur fb wall;D


9.The four most important words in any marriage..."I'll do the dishes".


10.If WOMEN ruled the world, there wud be no wars.
     It wud be just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other!!!!!!!;)

Funny Status Updates

1.Romance simply doesnt work with some husbands!Dump the kids early to bed n they get scared "Itna Sannata kyun hai Bhai?":( Arrange a cosy candlelite dinner n they wud switch on the lights to b assured if u serve them in rite proportion!!!:(wish to go for a long drive...they wud suggest why not shop some grocery on the way home:(Ask them for a stroll in rain..n they wud come out with two umbrellas:(


2.After an emotional hug, Girl to Boy:-----
"Oh! If youwould hug me once more like that ,I will be yours forever."...............
Boy:-- "THANKS FOR THE WARNING.";-D


3.Coffee, Chocolate, Men ... some things are just better rich.'


4.Question: What's a man's idea of helping with the housework?
Answer: Lifting his leg so you can vacuum;D


5.A single spelling mistake that caused divorce!!!!!!!
A man went 2 GOA & sent msg 2 his wife- "Having the most amazing & wonderful time, i wish u were HER".


6.yun khamosh rehkar tadpogi kabtak....
yun khamosh rehkar tadpogi kabtak....

......Cameraman prafful ke saath deepak chaurasia AAJ TAK:D


7.Best traffic advertisment of the year: Picture of Lord Ganesha with saying:"Take care of your head,not everyone gets a replacement like me".


8. Little Red Rididng Hood dint listen to her mother.....Snow White lived with seven men.....Pinnochio was a liar......Robin Hood was a thief....Tarzan walked without clothes on....Sleeping Beauty slept the whole day until a guy kissed her.....Cindrella was dancing with a guy till twelve at nite!!!!!
These are the stories our parents rais...ed us with, n now they complain our our generation's messed up!!!!;D


9. Dear Lord, it's such a hectic day
With little time to stop n pray
For life's been anything but calmSince u called on me to b a mom
Running errands,matching socks
Building dreams with building blocks!
Cooking,cleaning n finding shoes
n other stuff dat children lose!

10.We have women in the military, but they don't put us in the front lines. They don't know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, "You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms.";D

Funniest one liners

1.There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it


2.If only life came with Rewind...Forward...Play...Pause.....Next n Stop buttons:(


3.We would rather be ruined than changed;
We would rather die in our dread
Than climb the cross of the moment
And let our illusions die.
~W.H. Auden


4.Success is dangerous. One begins to copy oneself, and to copy oneself is more dangerous than to copy others. It leads to sterility. Pablo Picasso.

5.Fools rush in..................................................................n take the best seats;D


6.That's Okay - One of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. "That's okay" means she wants to think hard and long before deciding when and how you'll pay for your mistake. ;D


7.Eat,drink n be merry.......................for u may b on diet tomorrow;D


8.My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.


9.Women are crazy.
Men are stupid.
The main reason why women are crazy is that men are stupid.!!!!!!!!!;D


10.A long time married couple came upon a wishing well. The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.The husband decided to make a wish too.
But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.
The wife was stunned for a moment but then smiled. "It really works!" ;D